Title Goes Here...

I am not entirely sure how long I have been staring at my computer. I've been trying to make sense of what is going through my head, even though grasping everything seems impossible. Maybe I am skirting the edges of my perception or maybe it is just a matter of stepping outside of the box.

What is the box, exactly?

Somehow I know I am stepping outside of it. Maybe around it, maybe tapping on its door and then running off to hide...where?

It wasn't that long ago...I was walking through my door and staring into the rest of my life wondering how I had ended up standing in front of myself. I could have always asked but I knew that I didn't have the answer.

I didn't really have much time to think about it.

I am trying to pin myself to something tangible...as time passes the whole notion becomes irrelevant.

Distraction...it seems to be the meaning of life.

3:07 AM on a Saturday Night

Up and down up and down up and down...

Repeat.

I am struggling with my sense of self. More accurately it is my sense self related to people around me. I am quite happy at the fact that the Giants are going to the world series. For some reason this bit of sports news makes me gleeful in ways I haven't felt in a long time.

I do love baseball.

Anyway, I find myself at the precipice of getting something I have looked for for a long time. I do have to step into unfamiliar territory to get it though. I'm resourceful, I'll figure it out.

At least that is what I want to tell myself. I haven't been this unsure around someone in a long time. It isn't a bad thing necessarily but I don't want to look like a fool.

*sigh* The good things never come easy.